I apologise for the things you endure. The nocturnal flatulence, for being used as a surface when looking for things. For having the dogs nibble and dribble on you. Oh occasionally I treat to nice experiences such as having the naked body of an attractive, red head lady in her late twenties spread her fine figure across you while I spend the night on the hard carpet of the living room. But there are times when you end up taking the half digested contents of my stomach or a period of intense sweat. So to you my silent enduring solider I bid you and aplogy and a thanks for supporting me at my most vulnerable.