The End of the Affair

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Fight or Flight.”

Write about your strongest memory of heart-pounding, belly-twisting nervousness: what caused the adrenaline? Was it justified? How did you respond?

Easy give me a hard prompt. The day I ended it with Mary; it was a difficult  decision for me as I truly loved that girl but deep in my heart of hearts I knew the relationship was more 60/40 the mutual. This was a combination of things, she had some issues she needed to deal with which I think prevented her from truly committing which I won’t go into as I only have so much info and ultimately it is up to her to tell her story not me. But I can tell my story involving her after a rocky dating period we had got into a sort of ambiguous relationship which she never formally acknowledged more then just friends (but not friends with benefits as that never works). We had weekends (sort of) away together, often go out for meals , cinema etc together but she never would admit anything further. She’d frequently say “lets just stay friends” but a few days later… but towards the end… I don’t know. Perhaps it was due to my increasing issues of depression bought on by stresses at work or maybe I was being to get fed up with the bizarre dance we were doing. Probably a mix of both but ultimately something changed in the last few weeks of our “relationship”. She made a very personal statement to me and immediately tried to mask it as I don’t think she liked the realisation of letting her guard down and things started changing. She good funny when someone commented “for people who are friends there was an awful lot of banging coming from your bedroom” and was always a bit off from there. the coups-de-gras was a party she held in which she spent the entire evening blanking me, not so much as getting lost in hosting but simply blanking my existence, only acknowledging me when people where out of eyesight and earshot. A private incident later that evening promoted me to evaluate what was going on and it seemed there was only one thing to do.

So I made the meeting, very nervous as I knew I was going to have to play the bad guy. I did really love Mary don’t get me wrong but sometimes the way the situation runs you only have bad choices but you still have to make one. So I put on my best Kerr Avon monotone to hide how upset I was and tried my best to gently break it off… the most heart wrenching thing I had to do. But it didn’t stop there.. it got much more difficult. I guess my adrenaline rush was right, maybe I should have grinned and bared it, but what lay around the corner suggests I may have made the right call after all.

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