I don’t think I really have any great fears anymore. My life to date has lead me to put major fears aside, whether it be embarrassing situations or having to rise to the occasion.
I am perhaps a little nervous of spending the rest of my life alone, but more due to monetary issues rather then anything else.
My first time my big nerve about something went was during the production of Murder in the Manor. I think once we leave school we are all a little apprehensive about coming across your old school teachers again, whether they were ones you liked, didn’t or were indifferent about hence my lack of attendance until recently to attend a school reunion. I met my old English teacher during the final nights performance, well technically I met her after the performance in the bar across the road but it was being on stage which started the ball rolling. As I have mentioned before this performance of the play involved me performing a very short nude scene, so I while I was performing the scene and stroll across the stage I spotted a familiar face in the front row of the audience. I was having a drink at the bar afterwards and noticed some of the crowd had made their way there already, my teacher included. So I kept to the corner thinking perhaps she won’t notice me/didn’t recognise me, but no she approached me and had recognised me and greeted me with “well, I think you are the ex-pupil I’ve seen the most of now.” Little embarrassed, I kind of fudged replies and informed her I’d been doing theatre for a bit and this was my first big role and; “what did you think?” Not the best choice of question I know and after an equally awkward silence in which the ground refused to swallow me up she replied timidly “you are very skinny, taller then I remembered…. and you meant about the play didn’t you?” To which I nodded. After that I decided that seeing teacher again could never be that awkward.
I used to have a morbid fear of heights, I used to joke I got vertigo standing up straight, but a charity hike up Snowdon and a holiday walk up Canima have pretty much laid that dog to rest. Might still be a while before I try and go up Withernsea lighthouse again though.
Actually my one 1984 moment will probably still be asking out a girl I like…