Ella Fitzgerald sang in a 1973 recording of “I Gotta Be Me” ‘I want to live not merely survive.” A lyric which to me reflects the need to be yourself which is the challenge, to over come the sets backs to allow you to be an individual against the masses.
One of the joys of being single is that I have more opportunity to be myself and indulge my hobbies and vices, there isn’t the counterflow to trim some of it out. While it can be nice I must imagine it would look odd to an outsider, probably as much as when first started dating Mary and her bedroom was a technokothica of Panda related memorabilia. Virtually every cupboard, desk top and wardrobe had at least one stuffed Panda toy on them and there were various Panda prints all over the walls. Before you ask, no she didn’t have a Panda illustrated duvet and pillow set… or if she did she changed it before I arrived. If you were to look around my own abode you would note that I have shelves full of Books and CDS (both music and spoken word) and a few relics from my childhood (a Leg Pirateship, a Polly Pocket style Dalek playset and my old Teddy Bear) and a vast amount of organised chaos.
I wonder if true survival as a person means to combine and contrast your own excesses with another. Philippa, unlike Mary, had a very stern approach: I wasn’t allowed to go to Jazz Club more than twice a month and when I went I was to drive and thus could only have one beer, I had to listen to music on my earphones unless it was something she chose ( she didn’t like Jazz or Blues) and I wasn’t allowed my bedtime cup of tea as “I wouldn’t be able to sleep.” It is perhaps not surprising with hindsight, that that relationship did not survive.