FOWC: A Very Rare Commodity

“Forgive and forget”- a phrase once regularly used, until it lost all meaning and became a mantra.

Do people truly forgive these days, or indeed ever? May be I have skewered view on the world but if I forgive someone for something (amends are usually part of the process) it is over. I draw a line under said event and that is the end of it. But some people keep bringing things up…. Surely then you were lying about forgiving?

For me it depends on what has happened and how the other person responds- or if the boot is on the other foot- how I respond. The first thing is to establish what the issue is (so many things are the results of a misinterpretation) as it might be something taken out of context. Then see how to fix it- and just because it might not mean a big deal to one party, it might mean something bad to another. For example I casually mentioned once that Mary looked worn-out and pale… Bad move, she didn’t want her state of health discussed at the time which was unknown to me at the time, I merely assumed she had a long and exhausting week. Simple remark of concern on my behalf started a four-alarm fire. The irony here was that she had happily sharing incorrect information about me a few weeks early and dismissed my protest as “you can’t stop people talking”. Back talk in the workplace had already caused problems in my work place and my relationship with Mary before hand. But that is another story….

The problem is there would be a lot less need for forgiveness on a personal level if people did check in the first place.

Fandango’s One Word Challenge: Forgive

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16 thoughts on “FOWC: A Very Rare Commodity

  1. I have a hard time with both forgiving and forgetting. I’m very good about accepting that people didn’t necessarily intend things poorly and will generally check that before reacting. In other situations I like to forgive but find it hard to forget…and once I remember, I tend to also remember why I was upset. But for the most part, I try to hear people’s intent rather than their words… the C word is the absolute worst insult you can say in America… but if it’s said as a joke, I take it as a joke. On the other hand, if someone calls me brilliant but is clearly insulting me, I’ll take offense.

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      • see… right there… that made me recall my Job From Hell and re-wish a slow painful death upon my Supervisor From Hell… despite the fact that their torture resulted in me getting a year of leave at 100% pay.

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      • that would have been my situation too but I went out on well-deserved stress leave before they could write me up. The morning of my psych appt, which they didn’t know about, I was formally reprimanded for some BS that I don’t recall and the next step would have been termination. 3 hrs after the meeting, I was out on disability and then laid off when I returned (6 months later).

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      • I’d been on sick leave due to stress and anxiety.. which I think is why the twat went about the underhanded route. The man reason I agreed was because I didn’t want to be around the two-faced scumbags who didn’t have the decency to even talk to me in person

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      • I returned from leave with no intention of actually working for them again. I figured they would lay me off immediately but if they didn’t then i was going to quit. But they blinked first and I got that extra 6 months of pay!!

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      • I had this naive thought that the boss would issue some changes, figuring that 7 years working at the place and increasing beer trade by 80% would have helped. I was wrong.

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      • In my morning reprimand, I was grinding my nails into my hands and crying. I finally told them (HR and Supervisor) that I was suicidal. HR responded, “you don’t mean that.” I knew the place sucked but I didn’t realize it was so bad that they’d ignore someone admitting they were suicidal!!

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      • I’m glad someone was there to help you. I had the opposite experience… in the middle of my clinical depression my entire social circle stopped talking to me overnight and I have never found out why. I genuinely don’t know how I got through that. Another time, I called a person for help but they never returned my call and I ended up medicating myself to sleep (not enough to do harm – just enough to sleep through a day or 2). I later learned that when they heard the msg they said, “oh, she’s just being a drama queen.” I quit talking to him after learning that.

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      • Well I suspected that it was more than a clash of personalities when I was browsing cheap flights for a trip and he threw a massive wobbly that I hadn’t applied for any holiday and called me liar when I said it was for a trip on my days off

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