“Forgive and forget”- a phrase once regularly used, until it lost all meaning and became a mantra.
Do people truly forgive these days, or indeed ever? May be I have skewered view on the world but if I forgive someone for something (amends are usually part of the process) it is over. I draw a line under said event and that is the end of it. But some people keep bringing things up…. Surely then you were lying about forgiving?
For me it depends on what has happened and how the other person responds- or if the boot is on the other foot- how I respond. The first thing is to establish what the issue is (so many things are the results of a misinterpretation) as it might be something taken out of context. Then see how to fix it- and just because it might not mean a big deal to one party, it might mean something bad to another. For example I casually mentioned once that Mary looked worn-out and pale… Bad move, she didn’t want her state of health discussed at the time which was unknown to me at the time, I merely assumed she had a long and exhausting week. Simple remark of concern on my behalf started a four-alarm fire. The irony here was that she had happily sharing incorrect information about me a few weeks early and dismissed my protest as “you can’t stop people talking”. Back talk in the workplace had already caused problems in my work place and my relationship with Mary before hand. But that is another story….
The problem is there would be a lot less need for forgiveness on a personal level if people did check in the first place.
Fandango’s One Word Challenge: Forgive